Is there a reason?

Is there a reason that every morning?
I hear the small bird at the window to sing .
Is there a reason for the sun to shine?
and fill the world with its light divine.
Is there a reason that I am shocked to find?

that now my heart doesn't listen to the mind.
Is there a reason that I never miss you?
even though our meetings are so few.
Is there a reason that you will surely smile?
as you read these lines after a while.

Help me.

Happen to me like the unseasonal rain,

I need it so much now to relieve the pain.

I am just burning like a house on fire

from all this forbidden pangs of desire.

Only you can hold my hand and smile

and turn my life, making it worthwhile

What others see in you I don't know

But I have bared my heart to show.

Like the dying embers,hopes remain,

with me for you to kindle them again.

Scraps of life

As I try to pick up
the scraps of life
scattered all around
and arrange them neatly,
I sense something amiss
a feeling that something
doesn't really doesn't match
What is it that I forget ?
Can't remember,
as much as I try.
So I have to sit
with those scraps of life,
as they are
and try to put a meaning
to what they convey,
each of them,
individually or together.
None of them are the same,
each so different.
I know I could have
made a wonderful collage
out of them.
Only if I could remember.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Arunangshu Paul
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Morning gift

The morning today started well. Somehow ,I got a very positive feel as
I woke up. It was not raining, for a change. As I hit the roads for a
jog at about 6 ,the morning was cool and quiet except for the chirping
birds around. Though it was cloudy,the Sun gradually cast its rays. I
felt fresh with the slight wind playing on sweat covered face and the
eyes soothed with the greenery around. As I write this on a crowded
train,still I can feel the plus effect. Don't know how the day will
pan out but thank God for the gift of this morning.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Arunangshu Paul
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Answer

I made a small prayer before going to sleep
From the core of my heart digging very deep
The answer to my doubt was clear as it came,
waves are high or low, the shores remain the same.
When the night is dark and storms hold sway,
Belief is the beacon that shows us the way.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Arunangshu Paul
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Love is worship

On 11th September I had posted the following on my Facebook profile:

Read the lines carefully and feel free to write your comments. later  I will change just two alphabets and the orientation of the paragraph will change. Lets see how you see it friends:

"You are the one whom I seek through skies and the clouds, over seas and hills,across deserts and plains,in rivers and trees.Make my life complete. Come and hold my hand, my Love . I am waiting for you."

First let me explain the idea behind the change of the two alphabets .There have been suggestions that the word 'Love" gets changed to "Life" by replacing "ov" with "if" . It is a very good suggestion, but taken with the second sentence, it becomes jarring. So in spite of the changed orientation , it conveys ambiguity. But in one way this suggestion was bang on target. The change had to be in the word "Love"

What I really had in mind was the word "Lord" replacing "Love" ( "rd" replacing "ve"). The idea may have germinated in me when I was listening to some songs in the morning and it remained in the back of my mind unconsciously. But it hit me when in the evening I was participating in the Ganapati Visarjana at our neighbours flat. I am not a very religious person by nature but not an atheist . My views on religion are liberal and I believe in God , not rituals. At my house there is no Puja or religious performance done whatsoever. But I participate in all religious functions if invited by friends and look upon these as more of social obligations.

Coming back to the point - as I kneeled in front of the deity and closed my eyes, I seemed to be praying with the same words which were originally meant to be a romantic idea generated by some song heard in the morning. I was surprised at first and then realized how intricately our mind works. Under the layers of subconscious ,lies the search for the eternal. At moments of deep concentration or disturbance, these hidden things come to the fore.

There is actually nothing to be surprised about this. Love and God are just two forms co existing within each other. Whereas Love is a form of worship , worship of the Supreme is the purest form of Love. We often in our expressions, relate Love to its carnal form and accept it generally as such. But Love is beyond the boundaries of body . It's true manifestation is within the soul and there is no need for it to be restricted to any object of desire,by relation or earthly . It is the ultimate experience. That's the reason for the old Latin dictum " Amor vincit omnia" to be always relevant.

Looking back , life seems to be calling me,
beyond the enchanted shores that I left behind.
So many smiles, so much tears.
Snatches of memory blossomed on the branches,
of those numerous flowering plants
spread on those gardens,I walked through.
So much desires remaining unfulfilled
and so many sentences which I could never complete.

As the shores fade out,I sail along,
with the burden of hopes and desperations of a lifetime.
Just like the waves in a rhythmic flow
Rising and falling on this vast expanse of blue.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Arunangshu Paul
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Is it so easy to forget

Is it so easy to forget, or just a ploy to ignore,

all those afternoons spent, on the grassy lawns.

Lying side by side , under the soft winter sunlight

facing the open sky, eternity mirrored in our eyes.

Peanut shells strewn around us and those small

cups of tea, warm and steaming , as we were within.

If you try a little harder, you may still remember,

that corner under the staircase of the house where

you lived then, or, the small attic on the roof ?

Where we used to steal those moments away, from

the prying world, exploring new horizons of delight

trembling bodies intetwined and the thirsty lips.

Those were the days.

Try hard as you may, they will be a part of our lives always.

So, let them remain with us.

9th Sep 2011

Who plays this tune strange,unheard melody which fills the soul with a sweet yet sad feeling, like a mist covering the hill tops slowly but surely.With every pore of my senses,I feel the embrace of the inevitably taking me away from the mundane.
I walk , enchanted. As if my dreams beckon me far away. Someone comes near me and whispers-let's go. No more reason to wait. Leave behind all what you think is yours properties, materials, relalations ,emotions, for they were never really yours.
Every moment that I have lived were borrowed from eternity and some day has to be returned back . Nothing will matter. All these joys and sorrows that I feel , all friends and enemies that I have made, they will fade away. In front of me will be the great ocean. And I will have to sail across. Alone.
--
Sent from my mobile device
Arunangshu Paul
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Seeds of peril

No body cared,none gave a second look.

The small plant grew like a parasite on the cornice wall. Springing to
life, from the seeds of an ancient banyan tree,carried by some bird
with its excreta,it withered the initial pains in all humility. The
sapling was nurtured by the raindrops alone in the rainy season and
gathered its strength slowly from the dust and deris forming a green
mossy layer on the roof. Slowly,it spread its roots,clinging
desperately to whatever it touched, as if it wanted to embrace
everything around.
As it grew, the roots searched for newer cracks and entered deep into
them, binding the concrete within and creating more space for itself.

Days passed,seasons changed and another rainy spell came. The small
plant had by now sprouted foliage which shined in the sunlight with a
deep green hue , bathed and fresh, as the raindrops clinging to them
sparkled like gems.

Now it was on its own gathering strength and nutrients from the
building itself. It looked beautiful but was a threat to the walls. If
unchecked it would soon crack the walls and water will seep
through,weakening the structure,ultimately bringing it down.

But then,friends,this is the way life moves on. KIngdoms and empires
have gone to ruins by neglect of that small seed,which nobody cared
about and none gave a second look.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Arunangshu Paul
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Let go,forgive,turn away, forget if you can.

After all,it doesn't matter. So many other

people and pains are waiting for us in life.

7th Sep 10

A deep sense of gloom and irritation surrounded me with the news of
another blast at New Delhi.

Why does these things happen with such regularity. Is there no way to
stop them. Why are the ruling class so apathetic to the
safety,security and well being of the people. Corruption and greed
have made them blind.

Coming to myself, woke up today a little stiff and missed heavier
workouts. A spot of stretching was all that I managed. Think that this
was the result of getting drenched in the rain yesterday evening while
returning home.

Ashu has resigned from SBI last Monday. Most probably he will join
Axis TFC on Thursday. Let's hope he will be happy here. I have done
whatever I could from my side. This guy is really different. One of
the most interesting characters I have ever met in life.

White was the theme today. So much refreshing. Had the walk but missed
the talk due to guards around. Have not been able to deliver the small
thing yet. What to do?

--
Sent from my mobile device

Arunangshu Paul
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5/09/2011

 Missed the early morning jog like the last four days due to rains. But had a workout nonetheless.Just as I was having breakfast,Jayesh rang up to inform that the harbour line was closed. reached the station with ttreidation but found the train services regularised after being stalled for some time due to some overhead wire problems .
The Monday morning blues gave way to a evenly paced day at office.Got a little late while returning in the evening as travelled with Sid till Chembur in his car.

Will try to update blog regularly henceforth . Even if it means writing nonsense.

Today was Teacher's day. More than anything, I will remember this day  because of the incident which happened 29 years back. I still remember the day vividly  with  all the  cutely embarrassing details. I joined DBMS schhool Jamshedpur as a teacher on this day in the year 1983. For my first day at the schiool , I had worn a steel grey trouser and white halfsleeved shirt, little realising that it was the uniform for the class XI-XII students at the school. I was only 21 and loooked almost like one of the students in the crowd. Some teachers and students took me to be a new student. It was an embarrassment then but now I look back at the day as a good joke. I never wore the combination again as llong as I was in the school.