It happened again today to bring the touch of sadness in life. And whenever I face this sort of experience right in the morning it makes me delve inward and contemplate.
As you all may have noticed, everyday Facebook gives us reminders about birthdays of friends nudging us to wish them. As a rule, I never wish anybody on their timeline but send them personal messages, one to one. There are a few reasons for this. Firstly, I don't want to overload the person's timeline. Secondly, if I forget to see the reminder and miss out on wishing, it's also not in public view. Because like in physical world, on social media too people watch and observe things - who likes whom, who wishes whom, who writes what or who follows whom and build their perception. Thirdly, many people use a different birthday on their timeline or follow the great Indian tradition of separate "official" and "real" birthdays which could be months apart. Fourthly and most importantly, it may be a big surprise and embarrassment to wish someone with Happy Birthday long after he or she is no more.
In fact, it is the last reason, which has made me stop sending birthday wishes like a robot, goaded by Facebook. And I must say it helps to avoid unwanted embarrassment, at least be informed about the reality. We become friends with many persons on the social media, without knowing them or even meeting them physically. With some of them we are close and with some we are not so much. There are many who are listed as friends due to sudden impulse based on some post or some common interest. Beyond that we rarely communicate or try to know the person. And there's nothing wrong in it too. If we go on knowing and understanding everyone, we become judgmental and also it is simply not possible to devote so much time.
Long back, on an impulse, or let's say fancy, tried to become friends with my namesakes (first name). I had thought my name to be somewhat unconventional and wondered how many of such people would be there on Facebook. Well, I had collected about a dozen persons with the same name and sent them invites. It was more of a fun to start with. I had a fantastic and grandiose plan of starting a secret society of people with the same name as mine and meet them personally. That plan has long been shelved, rather aborted. Most of them accepted it. As expected, all of them were Bengali speaking except one. None of them were known to me personally. In fact, I had met only a single namesake of mine ever before. And that is a funny and interesting story of anecdotal proportions, for some other day.
One such person was he, Arunangshu Mukherjee . We never met each other, interacted or communicated much beyond sharing some likes on each other’s posts. And as it happens with Facebook algorithm with less interaction, our posts may not have been reflected too much on our respective timelines. But I generally wished him, every year on his birthday. So today, on seeing the Facebook notification, I went to his timeline first. Being an irregular connection who has not been interacted with for quite a few months, I browsed his timeline first, to be sure.
And then, I found it. He has passed away in the month of this May itself. How, what, where not clear from the tagged posts. Not that it matters too much in the larger picture for me. Beyond the sadness of losing a person whom I didn't actually know, it’s not a personal loss for me. But still, it rankles. To think that I actually did not care to know his whereabouts. And slight irritation to see a few persons wishing him "Happy Birthday" on his timeline. Perhaps they don't bother or care that he is no more or maybe they have posted it unconsciously - like a robot.
And then, those thoughts strike. What will be the scene like when I go away? Will people who interact less with me notice? Will those who interact with me regularly, know? Will people really miss me? I know these thoughts are meaningless and temporary. They will pass off as I write them. In fact, I am writing this post only to clear the gloominess which I felt. Cathartic, in a way ; that's the only thing I can do.
My homage to Arunangshu Mukherjee, my namesake. Wherever you are, be in peace, my friend. We were not destined to meet each other.
#Randomthoughts
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