Make me forget every reason,
all conditions and terms.
Let me live just a single moment,
nestled in your arms.
For once ,shut out the world,
suffering in its chaos.
Take over me like a crazy whim,
leaving me with no choice.

The Quinquagenarian

 1577836800 seconds,26297280 minutes,438288 hours,18262 days or 50 years, whichever way I look at it , has really been quite a time to spend on this earth. But more than the measure of time, it is the loads of love and good vibes which I have been fortunate to receive from parents,sibling, wife, son, cousins uncles, aunts, relatives, friends,colleagues,classmates, acquintances which make me overburdened with a deep sense of gratitude. Its not as if I have not faced hostility, trouble or enemies in life. I have had enough of  them for good measures too. But I have forgiven them and have always tried to withdraw from negativity in life. So they do not matter to me . 

                               Spending fifty years of life surely entitles one to be reflective and retrospective. As I look back , I can take deep satisfaction and a big sigh of relief  of completing five decades  without being tested too much by the vagaries of life. Pains and tribulations have come and gone but I have been fortunate enough to always find something else to look ahead. Regrets , I have a few in life, but again even if things have not gone my way, I have not been devastated. Somehow , I have survived . I know , many of my well wishers and elders will point out to the fact that I have not been able to either realise or do justice to my potentials fully. But then, I have not been a loser in life too. I have mostly got whatever I needed and much more. That is what matters , ultimately . Isn't it ?

                                Change of workplace,job profile and dwelling have been a constant feature of my adult life . Which means, I have really been a rolling stone. Not gathering moss around . This nomadic journey in life has contributed to the overall growth of myself as a person and fitted my restless personality. If I have any misgivings on this aspect of life, it is the fact that my wife had to bear the brunt of the inconvenience and sacrificed a lot for my sake. But by now she has also started liking the changes. The frequent changes have brought me into contact with new people and places and variety has been indeed been the spice of life for my family. 

                                I have only to thank my good luck for being able to complete my adult life without any major illness or accidents. This , I think is truly a divine blessing.  During my total work life of about 29 years, I have taken medical leave for two days only. I can only pray for my luck to hold all along further . Though I had to face some worries related to my wife and son, they were , mercifully , not been too difficult. 

                                I have loved,committed big mistakes,stood up for causes,protested,been a rebel,fought over silly things and will continue to do these in future. But I have never consciously hurt anybody or taken advantage of any situation by demeaning or degrading another person.  I have faced rejection, experienced humiliation, got heartbroken, felt frustrated and sought vengeance.  Anger has been my greatest weakness , apart from a cursed habit of smoking. I have tried to control both and still trying to keep them suppressed I know that my sudden bad temper tantrums may have sometimes spoiled the atmosphere and have  hurt others feelings but then I  have always believed in admitting mistakes and saying sorry for them. 
                                The two persons , who I think should have deserved a better me are my wife and my son. Whatever, I may have done for them, I think has not been enough. If I could could go back in time and change things, I would have done that only for their sake. 

Generally when things go wrong, You find ...

Generally when things go wrong, You find people breaking into a song. "I told you so" is their constant refrain, trashing the good work down the drain. Is this the way really to treat people, without trying to fathom depth of the trouble. When we try to apportion the blame, it just becomes a mud slinging game. Just negative vibes get spread all around, Making the situation only doom bound. Wouldn't it be better if there is introspection, to ensure that in future things match expectation. View or comment on Arunangshu Paul's post » Google+ makes sharing on the web more like sharing in real life. Learn more. Join Google+

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Blame it on me or try to brush it off
but both of us know this.
It would have been lot easier,
if I really could walk away ;
without stopping to look back .
But you have left me with no choice,
I can never get over your thoughts
and I just can not give you up.
If it was really easy to forget you,
then why do I feel the death wish
every time I try to erase you
from this cursed memory haunting me.
So I have to pretend every day,
whenever , wherever I meet you
or even if I don't , does it matter?
I do not exist for you , but you do
and will always be mine for me.

Blame it on me or try to brush it off but...

Blame it on me or try to brush it off but both of us know this. It would have been lot easier, if I really could walk away ; without stopping to look back . But you have left me with no choice, I can never get over your thoughts and I just can not give you up. If it was really easy to forget you, then why do I feel the death wish every time I try to erase you from this cursed memory haunting me. So I have to pretend every day, whenever , wherever I meet you or even if I don't , does it matter? I do not exist for you , but you do and will always be mine for me View or comment on Arunangshu Paul's post » Google+ makes sharing on the web more like sharing in real life. Learn more. Join Google+

You have received this message because Arunangshu Paul shared it with paularunangshupaul.gopal2202@blogger.com. Unsubscribe from these emails.

Arunangshu Paul shared a post with you

View or comment on Arunangshu Paul's post » Google+ makes sharing on the web more like sharing in real life. Learn more. Join Google+

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Started the year with the prospect of working a day more,2012 being a
Leap year. But a bonus holiday on 16th Feb for Mumbai municipal
elections have restored the balance. Thank God for the small mercies.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Arunangshu Paul
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Valentines day special

Love is all around , love is in the air,

Love will come and catch you ,

wherever you may be, there.

Love will make your day,

love will adorn your night,

in the darkness of despair,

love will show you the light.

May love fill your moments,

let love complete your years,

When love becomes your friend,

you need not shed the tears.

Love makes no distinction

be it rich or poor, young or old,

love touches with its magic wand

and encompasses all in its fold.

So friends carry on loving

make love a daily habit,

when love gives you the chance,

grab it , live it , love it.

All that was mine just broke away
with the gushing flood carrying
them away to some alien destination
direction random, fate unknown.
But I  have held you, fallen leaf
you are the only one;
to  have swam with me.
When all others turned their backs
nobody bothered to extend,
their hands for the fallen soul.
All that I needed was
an honest chance of redemption.